I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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