Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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