stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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