Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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