Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
