I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
