I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
