I looked at my own cervix.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
