I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
