I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize