I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
well most of my day revolves around power hour
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize
