After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
