yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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