please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
