six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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