Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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