no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
