Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
