So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
