dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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