i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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