After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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