I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Welp...herpes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
