So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
