god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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