i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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