She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
