I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
