So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
