the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think your dad took our porno
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
