mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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