so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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