You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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