problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
