1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
