Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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