Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
