There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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