I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize