So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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