and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
