what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
