mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
