remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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