You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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