i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
