wanna go halves on a baby?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Randomize
