His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
