fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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