Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
