By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
