Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My ass is underappreciated
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
