they need to just BURY HIM!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
